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The presented line graph gives information about trends in the number of births and deaths in New Zealand between the years of 1901 and 2101

The presented line graph gives information about trends in the number of births and deaths in New Zealand between the years of 1901 and 2101 kY8RW
The presented line graph gives information about trends in the number of births and deaths in New Zealand between the years of 1901 and 2101. Overall, the rate of births are projected to an downward trend at the end of the period whereas the number of deaths are forecasted to rise gradually. There are a significant fluctuations in terms of births rate. Taking a closer look at the births rate, at the beginning of the period the rte of birth was 20000 peoples, although it showed a some fluctuations, its number grew up sharply and reached the peak in 1961 (nearly 68000 peoples), then its number started to decrease. The rate of births are projected to decline until 2101, which it end with just above 42000 peoples. Turning to deaths rate, it began to under 10000 peoples in 1901 and its rate experienced a increase steadily within the given years. İts rate are forecated a highest point in 2061, which is a significant rise to almost 59000 peoples. At the end of the period, the rate of the deaths are projected a decrease and reach the approximately 58000 peoples.
The presented line graph gives information about trends in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
and deaths in New Zealand between the years of 1901 and 2101.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
are projected
to
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
downward trend at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of deaths
are forecasted
to rise
gradually
. There are a significant fluctuations in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
rate.

Taking a closer look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, at the beginning of the period the rte of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
was 20000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
, although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
grew up
sharply
and reached the peak in 1961 (
nearly
68000
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peoples)
, then its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decrease. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
Did you mean "is"?
are
projected to decline until 2101, which it
Did you mean "ends"?
end
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 42000 peoples.

Turning to deaths
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rate
, it began to under 10000
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peoples
in 1901 and its
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rate
experienced
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increase
steadily
within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
forecated
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest point in 2061, which is a significant rise to almost 59000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
. At the e
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
nd
of the period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of the deaths
are projected
a decrease and reach the approximately 58000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
.

IELTS academic The presented line graph gives information about trends in the number of births and deaths in New Zealand between the years of 1901 and 2101

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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