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The line graph below shows the average number of games brought by teenagers in a gamecountry from 2010 to 2014

The line graph below shows the average number of games brought by teenagers in a gamecountry from 2010 to 2014 kY858
The given line graph provides the information about the minimum account of games purchased by young ones in gamecountry between 2010 and 2014According to the Console games and computer games, in 2010, around 29 Console were sell, compared to about 34 computer games. The Selling of console games rose significantly over the early 2013, which was 70 games. Afterwards the selling of Console game remained unchanged; however, there was a sudden increased in computer games between 40 to 52 until 2014. Regarding to Homeheld games, it initiated approximately 15 games in 2010 and then dramatically inclined and reached its zenith at 30 games in 2012, before plunged to 10 games in 2013. This games hoverd till the end of 2014. Overall, It can be manifested from the graph that the Console games and computer games showd an upward trend, while Household games noticed little fluctuations, nevertheless, in the end it can be showed downward trend.
The
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given
line graph provides the information about the minimum account of
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games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by young ones in
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gamecountry
between 2010 and 2014According to the
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Console
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games
and computer
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games
, in 2010, around 29
Possible agreement error. The noun 'Console' seems to be countable, so consider using: "consoles".
Console
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
sell, compared to about 34 computer
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games
. The Selling of
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console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rose
significantly
over the early 2013, which was 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Afterwards the selling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Console
game remained unchanged;
however
, there was a sudden increased in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 40 and 52".
between 40 to 52
until 2014.
The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Homeheld
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games
, it initiated approximately 15
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games
in 2010 and then
dramatically
inclined and reached its zenith at 30
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games
in 2012,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
plunged to 10
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games
in 2013. This
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games
Possible spelling mistake found.
hoverd
till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2014.
Overall
, It can
be manifested
from the graph that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
Possible spelling mistake found.
showd
an upward trend, while Household
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games
noticed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
fluctuations,
nevertheless
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
downward trend.

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the average number of games brought by teenagers in a gamecountry from 2010 to 2014

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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