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The pollution of air in several countries

The pollution of air in several countries Wg9XD
This bar chart depicts the pollution of air in several countries due to electricity generation, transport, industry in 2021. It is clear from graph that, the pollution rate from industry was the highest in China while Australia was the least pllouted. According to what is show, In America pollution levels in transport higher as compared with Japan around below 60 and 30 respectively. Moreover, industry less then 30 in America then Japan while the electricity generation had 30 percentage. However, the of the air in Australia all causes had the similar approximately 20. While, in china electricity generation lower from transport the rate was slight under 60 and 70 respectively. Overall, Australia was a country where the proportion the least where as the China the most.
This bar chart depicts the pollution of air in several countries due to electricity generation, transport, industry in 2021.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from graph that, the pollution rate from industry was the highest in China while Australia was the least
Possible spelling mistake found.
pllouted
.

According to what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, In America pollution levels in transport higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared with Japan around below 60 and 30
respectively
.
Moreover
, industry less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
30 in America then Japan while the electricity generation had 30 percentage.

However
, the of the air in Australia all causes had the similar approximately 20. While, in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
electricity generation lower from transport the rate was slight under 60 and 70
respectively
.

Overall
, Australia was a country where the proportion the least
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
the China the most.
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IELTS academic The pollution of air in several countries

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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