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The bar chart illustrates the number of birth and mortality in Switzerland between 1970 and 2020.

The bar chart illustrates the number of birth and mortality in Switzerland between 1970 and 2020. ew0BB
The provided chart compares data between birth and death degree in Switzerland among 1970 and 2020 by United Nations statistics. Units are measured in millons. As can be seen, from 1970 to 2020 Switzerland experienced a dramatic increase in terms of population, whereas the amount of passing decreased from year to year. In the first 3 years in Switzerland inhabitants spreaded widely which counted just above 1, 5 million similarly there was slight increase in demise. However, the quantity of people who were born was much higher than those who passed away in 2000 and it went on 2, 5million in 10 years. In contrast, following year the death degree went down to almost 0, 8 million. In subsequent years, the rate of birth expected a slight rise nearly from 2, 9 in 2010 to 3 million at the end of the year while, the rate of mortality declined to just above 0, 8million
The provided chart compares data between birth and death degree in Switzerland among 1970 and 2020 by United Nations statistics. Units
are measured
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
millons
.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, from 1970 to 2020 Switzerland experienced a dramatic increase in terms of population, whereas the amount of passing decreased from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to year.

In the
first
3 years in Switzerland inhabitants
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "spread", the past tense form of the verb 'spread'?
spreaded
widely
which counted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 1, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
similarly
there was slight increase in demise.
However
, the quantity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were born
was much higher than those who passed away in 2000 and it went on 2,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
5million
in 10 years.
In contrast
, following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
the death degree went down to almost 0, 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. In subsequent years, the rate of birth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
a slight rise
nearly
from 2, 9 in 2010 to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
while, the rate of mortality declined to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 0,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
8million
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the number of birth and mortality in Switzerland between 1970 and 2020.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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