Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The plats illustrate the transformation of Grande park between 1920 and today

The plats illustrate the transformation of Grande park between 1920 and today R5moM
The plats illustrate the transformation of Grande park between 1920 and today. In general, the park became more developed, cutting out a few natural beauty while providing more options for entertainment. On the other hand, the entrances at the top and bottom of the map have remained so far. In detail, the stage for musicians was converted into an amphitheater for concerts at the same place. The number of rose gardens and seats located around Grande park dropped significantly from 1920 to now. In the center of the new park, they also replaced the fountain with a big rose garden, which is surrounded by seats. In the eastern of Grande park, the pond of water plants was turned into a Children's play area. While to the left of that, a Café was built right on the site where the rose garden used to be. The Glasshouse took the place of the beautiful water feature, placed adjacent to the entrance. Furthermore, they also opened an entrance to the underground car park for the convenience of visitors to the park by this means.
The plats illustrate the transformation of Grande
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
between 1920 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
In general
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
became more developed, cutting out a few natural beauty while providing more options for entertainment.
On the other hand
, the entrances at the top and bottom of the map have remained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far.

In detail, the stage for musicians
was converted
into an amphitheater for concerts at the same place. The number of rose gardens and seats located around Grande
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
dropped
significantly
from 1920 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. In the center of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, they
also
replaced the fountain with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
rose garden, which
is surrounded
by seats.

In
The phrase 'the eastern of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the eastern of
Grande
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, the pond of water plants
was turned
into a Children's play area. While to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of that, a Café
was built
right on the site where the rose garden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be. The Glasshouse took the place of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
water feature, placed adjacent to the entrance.
Furthermore
, they
also
opened an entrance to the underground car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
for the convenience of visitors to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
by this means.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The plats illustrate the transformation of Grande park between 1920 and today

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6.5band
    The charts give information about two genres/ categories of TV programs watched by men and women
    The charts illustrate the TV programs that watched by Australian men and women and different age groups watch. Overall, it is apparent that men tend to watch more game shows on television than women. On the other hand, The people who watch the most television are in the 45+ age group. To begin wit...
  • 5.5band
    the number of work force in Japan and us
    The line graph compares the percentage of work force in United States and japan between March1993 and 1999. It is obvious that, these opposing trends mean that percentage of work force in Japan has doubled from during this period, while it declined from 7% to 5% in the United States. As seen from ...
  • 5band
    Describe picture of speedlite shoe cross-section.
    This picture is of cross section of the new version of speedlite shoe. The common shape of any shoe is basic standard and this speedlite high top shoe is some unique design which hold two patented technology. To begin with, In the bottom there is sole, the code of component is 3, which is made up ...
  • 5.5band
    The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum
    The following table illustrates the number of visitor to Ashdown Museum before and after the refurbishment while the pie charts show the results of surveys of visitor satisfaction before and after the refurbishment. At first glance, it is evident that refurbishment gives good result as there is a si...
  • 5band
    The table chart compares and contrast the posts held by females in parliament and management in 5 nations during the period of 2000.
    Overall, it can be seen that maximum females took part in Canada for parliament position whereas highest ratio of women held for management post. To begin with, almost similar ratio of Canadian and Egyptian women took part in parliament post which was near about half, but in Italy the ratio of women...
  • 5band
    The chart below shoes main reasons fot students choosing to study in uk
    The bar graph provides information about the reasons due to which students opted specific UK university in 1985 and 2005. Overall, it can be analysed that in both given years better degree courses and quality resources were the main reason determining the preference of students choice for particular...





Get more results for topic:
  • The plats illustrate the transformation of Grande park between 1920 and today