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the plans below show the public park in 1920 and the same park now

the plans below show the public park in 1920 and the same park now G9dqB
The first map illustrates the old grange park, while the second map depicts the same park after ten decades. Overall, comparing two maps, the area has witnessed massive changes and improvements including, amphitheater for concerts, children’s play area, water feature, and so on. Looking at the first map, there were two entrances, one was in the north side another one was directly opposite on it. In the middle, there was a fountain and opposite of that there was a stage for musicians. The right side of the main entrance there was a greenhouse and the opposite side of it there was a pond for waters the plants. North and south side of the stage there were two rose gardens with seating areas. According to the second map, an Amphitheatre for concerts has been built in the original side of the stage. Furthermore, Instead of keeping the fountain on the middle of the park, a slightly bigger rose garden has been made which is surrounded by seats. The rose garden just after the main entrance has chopped down and a coffee shop has been built. Glass room has been replaced by water feature on the south west corner. A children play area has been made in the original place of pond for plant trees. The two entrances and the rose garden on the left of the first entrance, remain unchanged.
The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
illustrates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
grange park, while the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
depicts the same park after ten decades.

Overall
, comparing two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maps
, the area has witnessed massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and improvements including, amphitheater for concerts, children’s play area, water feature, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Looking at the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
, there were two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrances
, one was in the north side another one was
directly
opposite on it. In the middle, there was a fountain and opposite of that there was a stage for musicians. The right side of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
there was a greenhouse and the opposite side of it there was a pond for waters the plants. North and south side of the stage there were two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
with seating areas.

According to the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
, an
Possible spelling mistake. 'Amphitheatre' is British English.
Amphitheatre
for concerts has
been built
in the original side of the stage.
Furthermore
,
Instead
of keeping the fountain
The usual prepositions to use when surrounded is "in" not "on". Did you mean "in the middle"?
on the middle
of the park, a
slightly
bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
has
been made
which
is surrounded
by seats. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
has chopped down and a coffee shop has
been built
. Glass room has
been replaced
by water feature on the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south west
corner. A children play area has
been made
in the original place of pond for plant trees. The two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrances
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
, remain unchanged.
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IELTS academic the plans below show the public park in 1920 and the same park now

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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