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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. l6GW
The diagram gives information about Garden build up in 1920 and the same development Park today. Overall, lot of addition can be Seen in today grange park, Arnold avenue. First I will talk about 1920 grange park. In these garden there are five seats are available for people sitting into garden. And park was two entrance for entering in Park Moreover Ponds are make for plants i lose garden and fountain Cranee Park Ploulded one glasshouse for seen the graden view. Furthermore, the park was provided one Stage for musicians to performs and give entertainment for people. Also the park had beautiful fountain for refreshments. Second I will talk about tody grange Park. So there are number of Changes in Park like Gufe water feature Car parking and Amphitheater for Gocerts. Rose garden had Set into middle of park and making seats. Also, park allocate some area for Children's play. Grande Park distributes area for making amphitheater for musicians to perform concerts. In addition, the park had underground parking for Cal at the entrance of the park. Entrance are Sume. Compared to 1920 glange park. For Chilling park develop cafe and for attraction Park make making water feature
The diagram gives information about
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Garden
build up in 1920 and the same development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Overall
,
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
addition can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Seen
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
grange
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park
, Arnold avenue.
First
I will talk about 1920 grange
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park
. In these
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garden
there are five seats are available for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sitting into
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garden
. And
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park
was two entrance for entering in
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Park
Moreover
Ponds are
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make
for plants
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
and fountain
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cranee
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Park
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ploulded
one glasshouse for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
graden
view.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was provided
one Stage for musicians to performs and give entertainment for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the
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park
had
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beautiful
fountain for refreshments. Second I will talk about
Possible spelling mistake found.
tody
grange
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Park
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there are number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Changes
in
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Park
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gufe
water feature Car parking and Amphitheater for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gocerts
. Rose
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garden
had Set into middle of
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park
and making seats.
Also
,
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park
allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
area for Children's play. Grande
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Park
distributes area for making amphitheater for musicians to perform concerts.
In addition
, the
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park
had underground parking for Cal at the entrance of the
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park
. Entrance are
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sume
. Compared to 1920
Possible spelling mistake found.
glange
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park
. For Chilling
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park
develop
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and for attraction
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Park
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
making water
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
feature
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IELTS academic The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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