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the pies charts give information about main reason for migration to/from the UK

the pies charts give information about main reason for migration to/from the UK 1a2QM
The two pie charts illustrates the percentage of tye main reasons why people relocated to and left the UK in 2007. Overall, it can be seen from thr charts that the main factor influencing these decisiond was employment, while the importance of other factors varied significantly. The largest percentage of 30 percent people migrated to the UK for definite job, very similar to 20% people who emigrated from the UK due to the same reason. Another primary reason leads to the emigration of people to the UK is to looking for a job, which accounted for 22%, whereas the number of people immigrate for the dame purpose made up a smaller proportion of 12%. Formal study is the other factor major factor influencing a move to the UK, this figure constituted for more than a quarter of the total immigrants. The percentages of people migrate to and from the UK for joining a family were quite similar, at 25% and 13% respectively. A large number of people (32%) had not stated or give specific reason for their emmigration, nearly doubled this immigration figure of 17%.
The two pie charts illustrates the percentage of
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tye
main
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reasons
why
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people
relocated to and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the UK in 2007.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
thr
charts that the main
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factor
influencing these
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decisiond
was employment, while the importance of other
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factors
varied
significantly
.

The largest percentage of 30 percent
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people
migrated to the UK for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar to 20%
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people
who emigrated from the UK due to the same
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reason
. Another primary
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reason
leads to the emigration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the UK is
The word 'to' seems to be wrong here. "looking" is a present participle verb.
to looking
for a job, which accounted for 22%, whereas the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrate for the dame purpose made up a smaller proportion of 12%.

Formal study is the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
influencing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the UK, this figure constituted for more than a quarter of the total immigrants. The percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to and from the UK for joining a family were quite similar, at 25% and 13%
respectively
.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(32%) had not stated or give specific
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reason
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
emmigration
,
nearly
doubled this immigration figure of 17%.
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IELTS academic the pies charts give information about main reason for migration to/from the UK

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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