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The pie graphs illustrate the proportion of family budget allocated for 5 categories in UK and New Zealand over a course of 28 years, starting in 2008.

The pie graphs illustrate the proportion of family budget allocated for 5 categories in UK and New Zealand over a course of 28 years, starting in 2008. 7PRW2
The pie graphs illustrate the proportion of family budget allocated for 5 categories in UK and New Zealand over a course of 28 years, starting in 2008. Overall, it is manifest that the most striking features is a substantial upward trend in leisure activities and a considerable drop in food and beverage in UK. Furthermore, UK households registerd the highest figure in leisure while the largest amount of money belonged utility bills in New Zealand in 2008. In 1980, the percentage of financial budget spent on food and drink accounted for about 23% in UK compared to approximately 29% in New Zealand. These figures then experienced a dramatic decrease to 13% and 25% respectively. In addition, utility bills’ consumption stood at around 16% in both nations which rised only 2% in UK and about 4% in New Zealand. UK residents spent roughly 15% of household budget on transport in comparison with New Zealanders( about 17%) which declined merely 1% in 2 countries. Moreover, recreation accounted the highest proportion of UK family budget in both years while this percentage of New Zealand was only half of the figure in UK counterpart in 2008 ( approximately 17%). Especially, other costs consumed around 9% of family spending prior to a similar slight growth to about 11 %.
The pie graphs illustrate the proportion of family
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budget
allocated for 5 categories in UK and
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New
Zealand over a course of 28 years, starting in 2008.

Overall
, it is manifest that the most striking features is a substantial upward trend in leisure activities and a considerable drop in food and beverage in UK.
Furthermore
, UK households
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registerd
the highest figure in leisure while the largest amount of money belonged utility bills in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand in 2008.

In 1980, the percentage of financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
spent on food and drink accounted for about 23% in UK compared to approximately 29% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand. These figures then experienced a dramatic decrease to 13% and 25%
respectively
.
In addition
, utility bills’ consumption stood at around 16% in both nations which
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% in UK and about 4% in
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New
Zealand.

The genitive is possibly missing.
UK residents
spent roughly 15% of household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on transport
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealanders
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
about 17%) which declined
merely
1% in 2 countries.
Moreover
, recreation accounted the highest proportion of UK family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
in both years while this percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half of the figure in UK counterpart in 2008
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
approximately 17%).
Especially
, other costs consumed around 9% of family spending prior to a similar slight growth to about 11 %.
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IELTS academic The pie graphs illustrate the proportion of family budget allocated for 5 categories in UK and New Zealand over a course of 28 years, starting in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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