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The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

The two pie charts illustrates the participation of boys and girls in cultural and leisure activities based on the result of survey of children's activities. Overall, boys are mostly addicted to the computer games rather than playing outdoor games. On the other hand, girls are relatively balancing all the activities with dancing being the favourite for most. Nowadays, children playing outdoor games has depleted after computer games came into light. According to the chart, the boys are playing computer games the most with 34% above all. Whereas, Basketball was given second preferrence with 26%. Skateboarding and listening to music stood with minute difference besides soccer being somewards elected by boys with 17%. In contrast, boys didn't showed any interest in reading with minimal participation of 2%. In regard to the geographical split of children, girls are not as likely as boys. Unlike boys, girls liked outdoor activities more. For instance, dancing was the most selected by the girls with 27%. Girls also showed interest in reading with 21% being the second preferred activity. However, computer games and netball registered very less difference, likewise gymnastics and listening to music.
The two pie charts illustrates the participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in cultural and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
based on the result of survey of children's activities.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are
mostly
addicted to the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rather
than playing outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are
relatively
balancing all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with dancing being the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
for most.

Nowadays, children playing outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has depleted after computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
came into light. According to the chart, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
the most with 34%
above all
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, Basketball was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
second
Possible spelling mistake found.
preferrence
with 26%. Skateboarding and listening to music stood with minute difference
besides
soccer being
Possible spelling mistake found.
somewards
elected by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
with 17%.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
didn't
The auxiliary verb ‘do’ requires the base form of the verb: “show”
showed
any interest in reading with minimal participation of 2%.

In regard to the geographical split of children,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are not as likely as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
liked outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
more.
For instance
, dancing was the most selected by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
with 27%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
interest in reading with 21% being the second preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
However
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and netball registered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less difference,
likewise
gymnastics and listening to music.

IELTS academic The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.