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The pie chart below shows the main reasons of obesity among people. The table shows the percentage of obese people among different age groups in 3 regions in 2010.

The blend of pie chart and tabular graph illustrate the information about the percentile of people who were suffered from obesity and percentage of obese multitudes among 3 different age groups in North America, Europe and Africa in 2010. At a first glance, near about one in ten percent of inhabitants causes which were observed in genetic disorders; however, just over a quarter proportion of masses were caused by physical activity. In 2010, 35% of folks was caused obesity from eaten fast food. Less than 5% of humans was caused by stress.
The blend of pie chart and tabular graph illustrate the information about the percentile of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were suffered
from obesity and percentage of obese multitudes among 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups in North America, Europe and Africa in 2010.

At a
first
glance, near about one in ten percent of inhabitants causes which
were observed
in genetic disorders;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a quarter proportion of masses
were caused
by physical activity. In 2010, 35% of folks
was caused
obesity from eaten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food. Less than 5% of humans
was caused
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

IELTS academic The pie chart below shows the main reasons of obesity among people. The table shows the percentage of obese people among different age groups in 3 regions in 2010.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
92 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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