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The pie charts provide information about the proportion of three kind of nutrients included in common meals in the USA. These nutrients might be harmful when eaten pretty often.

The pie charts provide information about the proportion of three kind of nutrients included in common meals in the USA. These nutrients might be harmful when eaten pretty often. pReba
The pie charts provide information about the proportion of three kind of nutrients included in common meals in the USA. These nutrients might be harmful when eaten pretty often. Overall, the greatest proportion of nutrients are eaten during dinner, it includes, sodium, saturated fat and sugar. Whereas for breakfast people eat the lowest percentages of nutrients. The highest percentage of sugar is presented in snacks. During dinner, people eat 43% of sodium which is the largest fraction eaten compared with the other nutrients. This figure is followed by the saturated fat that accounted for 37% of the nutrient consumed in dinner. Also, during the lunch meal, people eat 29% of sodium and 26% of saturated fat. However, when it comes to people eating snacks, almost half of the nutrients eaten are added sugar and only 14% of sodium. For breakfast, people eat the lowest fraction of nutrients overall, they only eat 14% of sodium, and the same amount of saturated fat and added sugar with 16%.
The pie charts provide information about the proportion of three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kind' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kinds".
kind
of
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nutrients
included in common meals in the USA. These
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nutrients
might be harmful when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
pretty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

Overall
, the greatest proportion of
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nutrients
are
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eaten
during dinner, it includes, sodium,
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saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
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sugar
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
for breakfast
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people
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eat
the lowest percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
. The highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is presented
in snacks.

During dinner,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
43% of sodium which is the largest fraction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
compared with the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
. This figure
is followed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
that accounted for 37% of the
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nutrient
consumed in dinner.
Also
, during the lunch meal,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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eat
29% of sodium and 26% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

However
, when it
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comes
to
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people
eating snacks, almost half of the
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nutrients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
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sugar
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14% of sodium. For breakfast,
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people
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eat
the lowest fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
overall
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
14% of sodium, and the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
with 16%.
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IELTS academic The pie charts provide information about the proportion of three kind of nutrients included in common meals in the USA. These nutrients might be harmful when eaten pretty often.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The pie charts provide information about the proportion of three kind of nutrients included in common meals in the USA. These nutrients might be harmful when eaten pretty often.