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The pie charts provide information about percentage of purchase in British schools in 1981 , 1991 and 2001.

The pie charts provide information about percentage of purchase in British schools in 1981, 1991 and 2001. dop2r
The given pie charts illustrate proportion of spending in some UK schools in three different years. In general, we can see that teachers’ salaries always were top position. In the meantime we can also view insurance as bottom point. Beginning with spending of 1981 and 1991 we can observe that firstly teachers’ salaries were spent 40% in 1981, however they was rose by 10% in next decade. Secondly other workers’ salaries were paid virtually over 20% in the both of years. Finally we can also witness that Resources e. g books and Furniture or equipment were utilized approximately between 5% and 20% in those years. Moving on to proportion spending of 2001 we can see that they spent 45% to teachers’ salaries. It is also worth notice proportion of Insurance and Resources books spending were virtually the same ( 8% by 9%). Next, when it comes to other workers’ salaries we can also view that proportion of spending was reduced up to 10% in 2001. Additionally they spent 23% on Furniture and equipment in 2001.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts illustrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
UK schools in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years.

In general
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
always were top position. In the meantime we can
also
view insurance as bottom point.

Beginning with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
of 1981 and 1991 we can observe that
firstly
teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
were spent
40% in 1981,
however
they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
was
rose by 10% in
next
decade.
Secondly
other workers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
were paid
virtually
over 20% in the both of years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
we can
also
witness that Resources e. g books and Furniture or equipment
were utilized
approximately between 5% and 20% in those years.

Moving on to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
of 2001 we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they spent 45% to teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. It is
also
worth notice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of Insurance and Resources books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
were
virtually
the same
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
8% by 9%).
Next
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to other workers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
we can
also
view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
up to 10% in 2001.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
they spent 23% on Furniture and equipment in 2001.
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IELTS academic The pie charts provide information about percentage of purchase in British schools in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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