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the graph below shows the percentages of people in different age groups to the gym at least once a month in Europe from 1998 to 2018 and the projection

the graph below shows the percentages of people in different age groups to the gym at least once a month in Europe from 1998 to 2018 and the projection 15bjy
The line graph compares the percentage of people in different age groups who went to the gym at least once a month in Europe from 1998 to 2018 and the projection. The percentage of the group of 44 to 53 years old is almost keep stably which only rise about 3% in 20 years. The group of 34 to 43 years also increased gradually in 20 years, but the number of the proportion of 34 to 43 years is higher than the 44 to 53 one. What’s more, it is predicted that the trend of 34 to 43 group will grow faster than the other one. The groups of 24 to 33 years old and 18 to 23 years old are increased rapidly in total. In 1998 to 2010, this two groups all keep the scale between 15 to 20 percent although have a slight increased. In summary, the trend of the percentage of gym goers in four age brackets is increasing. According to this graph, it is easy to found that the proportion of the age groups which less than 33 years old is higher than which more than 33 years old.
The line graph compares the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
who went to the gym at least once a month in Europe from 1998 to 2018 and the projection.

The percentage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 44 to 53 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
is almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
stably
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rise about 3% in 20 years.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 34 to 43 years
also
increased
gradually
in 20 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the number of the proportion of 34 to 43 years is higher than the 44 to 53 one. What’s more, it
is predicted
that the trend of 34 to 43
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
will grow faster than the other one.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of 24 to 33 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and 18 to 23 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
are increased
rapidly
in total. In 1998 to 2010, this two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the scale
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 15 and 20".
between 15 to 20
percent although have a slight increased.

In summary, the trend of the percentage of gym goers in four age brackets is increasing. According to this graph, it is easy to found that the proportion of the age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
which less than 33 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
is higher than which more than 33 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the percentages of people in different age groups to the gym at least once a month in Europe from 1998 to 2018 and the projection

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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