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The pie charts illustrates the comparison of various kinds of energy production in france in the year 1995 and 2005

The pie charts illustrates the comparison of various kinds of energy production in france in the year 1995 and 2005 XlXqO
The given two pie charts depicts various conventional and non-conventional sources of commercial energy production of France over a period of 10 years. Overall, it can be observed that energy production through coal and gas have remained approximately similar whereas other non-conventional sources like nuclear power have gained momentum. On a fleeting glance, it is immensely lucid that coal was the major contributing source of energy generation in France during 1995 about 29. 8% which is still the biggest source in 2005 about 30. 93%. Similarly gas also observed similar proportions of 29. 63% in 1995 and 30. 31% in 2005. Furthermore, use of petrochemicals for commercial energy production in France dropped about 10% which is 29. 27% in 1995 to 19. 55% in 2005. It is interesting to note that use of non- conventional sources like nuclear have gained popularity and showed an increase of approximately 4% during the years 1995 -2005. Even though non- conventional courses were getting noticed but majorly 60% of energy generation was done with the help of coal and gas in both the years.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
two pie charts depicts various conventional and non-conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
production of France over a period of 10 years.

Overall
, it can
be observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
production through coal and gas have remained approximately similar whereas other non-conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
like nuclear power have gained momentum.

Did you mean "at"?
On
a fleeting glance, it is
immensely
lucid that coal was the major contributing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generation in France during 1995 about 29. 8% which is
still
the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
in 2005 about 30. 93%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
gas
also
observed similar proportions of 29. 63% in 1995 and 30. 31% in 2005.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of petrochemicals for commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
production in France dropped about 10% which is 29. 27% in 1995 to 19. 55% in 2005. It is interesting to note that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of non- conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
like nuclear have gained popularity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an increase of approximately 4% during the years 1995 -2005.
Even though
non- conventional courses were getting noticed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
majorly
60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generation
was done
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of coal and gas in both the years.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrates the comparison of various kinds of energy production in france in the year 1995 and 2005

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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