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The pie charts illustrate the proportions of nutrients in general meals

The pie charts illustrate the proportions of nutrients in general meals Qwqk3
The pie charts illustrate the proportions of nutrients in general meals in The United States of America(USA). The information only provide three types of unhealthy substances, which are Sodium, Saturated fat and Added sugar, those might be harmful due to the amount of consumption. The data are provided in four different meal times, which are breakfast, dinner, lunch and snack time. It can be seen that Sodium and Saturated fat are consumed the most in dinner time by 43% and 37%, following by lunchtime, the number of consumption in Sodium and Saturated fat are almost equal which are 29% and 26%, respectively. Surprisingly, Sodium is eaten equally in breakfast and snack time. Nevertheless, Saturated fat is contained in the snacks(21%) more than in the ingredients for morning’s meal(16%). Interestingly, Sugar is added highly in the snacks, reached up to 42%. Moreover, following by 23% at night meal, 19% at lunch and only 16% in the breakfast.
The pie charts illustrate the proportions of nutrients
in general
meals in The United States of America(USA). The information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide three types of unhealthy substances, which are Sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
sugar, those might be harmful due to the amount of consumption.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
data
are provided
in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
meal times, which are breakfast, dinner, lunch and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
time.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
are consumed
the most in dinner time by 43% and 37%, following by lunchtime, the number of consumption in Sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
are almost equal which are 29% and 26%,
respectively
.
Surprisingly
, Sodium
is eaten
equally
in breakfast and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
time.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
is contained
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks(21%)
more than in the ingredients for morning’s meal(16%).

Interestingly
, Sugar is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
highly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
, reached up to 42%.
Moreover
, following by 23% at night meal, 19% at lunch and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
16% in the breakfast.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate the proportions of nutrients in general meals

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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