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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar at American breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks on average.

The pie charts illustrate the proportion of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar at American breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks on average. mKO8
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar at American breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks on average. All of these nutrients are not healthy to be taken too much. Overall, sodium and saturated are eaten as the largest percentages, while added sugar is mainly delivered in snacks. American people tend to consume 14 % sodium both at breakfast and snacks, whereas, the scale is almost doubled at lunch, which is 29 %. Noticeably, at dinner, they eat the largest amount of sodium, at 43%. Then, in terms of saturated fat, only 16% are taken at breakfast, while the scale increases by 10 % at lunch. Moreover, 21% are at snacks. Similarly, people from the USA have the most saturated fat at dinner at 37%. Finally, considering the added sugar. There are the same proportion of people eating it at breakfast, which is at the same 16% as eating saturated fat at breakfast. During lunch, the percentage rises a little bit to 19%, and there is a slightly larger scale of taking added sugar at dinner. However, the largest proportion is 42%, which means that the added sugar mainly comes from snacks.
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of sodium,
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saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
, and
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
at American
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breakfast
, lunch,
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dinner
, and
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snacks
on average. All of these nutrients are not healthy to
be taken
too much.

Overall
, sodium and
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saturated
are eaten
as the largest percentages, while
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is
mainly
delivered in snacks.

American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to consume 14 % sodium both at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
and
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snacks
, whereas, the scale is almost doubled at lunch, which is 29 %.
Noticeably
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
, they eat the largest amount of sodium, at 43%.

Then, in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
16%
are taken
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
, while the scale increases by 10 % at lunch.
Moreover
, 21% are at
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snacks
.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the USA have the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
at
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dinner
at 37%.

Finally
, considering the
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. There are the same proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eating it at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
, which is at the same 16% as eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
. During lunch, the percentage rises a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
to 19%, and there is a
slightly
larger scale of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
.
However
, the largest proportion is 42%, which means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate the proportion of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar at American breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks on average.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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