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The pie charts illustrate happiness of parents with children in different ages.

The pie charts illustrate happiness of parents with children in different ages. r6PR2
The pie chart compare the proportion of parents' satisfaction with young and teen aged children, in three various categories. Overall, parents with the youngest child live in a happier life than those having older children. Also, it is clear from the charts that only a few percentage of parents fell unhappy who have children in any ages. At first glance, it is noticeably that people owning juvenile kids are the happiest parents. These types of parents indicate 47 percent living in a blissful life. A half of them feel quite happy living with young children. Only three percent of parents have a miserable life. The largest percentage of addescents' parents are satisfacted with their life in average level. They make up 61 percent of the given chart. The fairly happy parents constitute 35 percent of it. And an unhappy people with teenage children account for a small proportion, only 4 percentage
The pie chart compare the proportion of parents' satisfaction with young and teen aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, in three various categories.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with the youngest child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a happier life than those having older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Also
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the charts that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
Possible agreement error. The noun percentage seems to be countable; consider using: "few percentages".
few percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
fell unhappy who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in any ages.

At
first
glance, it is
noticeably
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
owning juvenile kids are the happiest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. These types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
indicate 47
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
living in a blissful life. A half of them feel quite happy living with young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a miserable life.

The largest percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
addescents
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
satisfacted
with their life in average level. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up 61
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart. The
fairly
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
constitute 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of it. And an unhappy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
account for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
percentage
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate happiness of parents with children in different ages.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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