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The chart below shows the percentage of total music sales by different ways from 2011 to 2018.

The chart below shows the percentage of total music sales by different ways from 2011 to 2018. m9m18

Line graph illustrates the information about 3 particular ways for music sales in the 7 years between 2011 and 2018 and it is measured in percentage. From an overall perspective, it is clear that, although the point of CDs bought was experienced the upward trend, but the sales of streams overcame the other ways during the period mentioned above. In the first year, the index of CDs commenced at about 55% which was followed by it decreased significantly by less than third until 2016. There was a slight fall to over 20% in the proportion of CDs in the ending of the period. Furthermore, the indication of streams stood at about one in twenty in 2011 before it rose dramatically to reach at two-fifths in the last year. Finally having ascended slowly from 35% to over 40% in the share of downloads in 2014, it suffered a considerable increase at 30% in 2018.

Line graph illustrates the information about 3 particular ways for music sales in the 7 years between 2011 and 2018 and it is measured
 in percentage.

From an overall
 perspective, it is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 that, although the point of CDs This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :purchased
bought
was experienced
 the upward trend, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 the sales of streams overcame the other ways during the period mentioned above.

In the first
 year, the index of CDs commenced at about 55% which was followed
 by it decreased significantly
 by less than third until 2016. There was a slight fall to over 20% in the proportion of CDs in the ending of the period. Furthermore
, the indication of streams stood at about one in twenty in 2011 This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 it rose dramatically
 to reach at two-fifths in the last year. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Finally,
Finally
 having ascended slowly
 from 35% to over 40% in the share of downloads in 2014, it suffered a considerable increase at 30% in 2018. 

IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of total music sales by different ways from 2011 to 2018.

Academic

American English

3 paragraphs

153 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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