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The pie-charts give information about online shopping sales for four retail sectors in Canada in 2007 and 2009.

The pie-charts give information about online shopping sales for four retail sectors in Canada in 2007 and 2009. oRPGg
The pie-charts give information about online shopping sales for four retail sectors in Canada in 2007 and 2009. All in all, it is clear that online shopping sales of Electronic & Appliance and Video Games sectors took more than half part of the both pie-charts but Home Furnishings and Food & Beverage got other pieces of the pie-charts. To begin with, online shopping sales of Electronics & Appliance retail sectors was the biggest unit of the pie 35% in 2007 but in 2009 its online shopping sales was second biggest piece after Food & Beverage 32%. Furthermore, online shopping sales of Food & Beverage retail sector was third unit of the first pie-chart 22%. The online shopping sales of the Home Furnishings retail sector was third huge level piece of the pie-chart which was first but in this percent of sector was more than second one. Moreover, the online shopping sales of Video Games retail sector was 18% in 2007 but in 2009 its sales 5% more than the first unit.
The pie-charts give information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in Canada in 2007 and 2009.

All in all, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of Electronic & Appliance and Video Games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
took more than half part of the both pie-charts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Home Furnishings and Food & Beverage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
other pieces of the pie-charts.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of Electronics & Appliance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
was the biggest unit of the pie 35% in 2007
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2009 its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
was second biggest piece after Food & Beverage 32%.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of Food & Beverage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was third unit of the
first
pie-chart 22%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of the Home Furnishings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was third huge level piece of the pie-chart which was
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was more than second one.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of Video Games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was 18% in 2007
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2009 its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
5% more than the
first
unit.
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IELTS academic The pie-charts give information about online shopping sales for four retail sectors in Canada in 2007 and 2009.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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