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changes of the area around a river before and after a flood

changes of the area around a river before and after a flood MMY2Q
The diagram illustrates the changes that took place in an area around the Blackstone river prior to and following a flood. Many things are washed away by the floodwaters. Before the flood, there were houses and tress on both sides of the river. However, the floodwaters cleared all of them including bridge which was built across the river. Moreover, the Oxfow which flows in a curve way was cut off from the river by the flood causing it flowing straight. Although the flood destroyed many things around the river, a small village on one side of the river remained the same without being affected.
The diagram illustrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that took place in an area around the Blackstone
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river
prior to and following a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flood
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
things
are washed
away by the floodwaters.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the
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flood
, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and tress on both sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
.
However
, the floodwaters cleared all of them including bridge which
was built
across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
.
Moreover
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oxfow
which flows in a curve way was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flood
causing it flowing straight. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village on one side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
remained the same without being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

IELTS academic changes of the area around a river before and after a flood

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
104 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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