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The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. q3EP
The pie charts illustrate the degree of power generate by fuel source in austrlia and france in the different two years. (1980and2000). The data is measured in units. At the fleeting glance, the austrlia produced 100 units of electricity in 2000. The main source in production of electricity in australia was coal in both years. As in 1980 that was half units and in 2000 that was 130 units. Moreover, the hydro power generate the electricity in 1980 and 2000 that was 20 units and 36 units. Furthermore, the less popular source in the production of power was natural gas. Taking further data into consideration, the france generate 90 units of electricity in 1980 and 18 units of electricity in 2000. The france contributed 15 units of neclear power in the formation of electricity in 1980. whereas, in 2000 126 units was contributed. Along with this, there was a equal use of coal in both the years for the generation of power which was 25 units. Moreover, in 1980 the france devoted about 20 units in the production of power and in the year 2000 that was 25 units of oil. Along with this, france contributed the hydro power and natural in 1980 which was 5 units and 25 units respectively. Overall, there were various uses of fuel in the production of electricity. Therefore, the maximum source that was used in the formation of electricity in australia was coal in both the years. Whereas, in france the use of coal were constant in both years.
The pie charts illustrate the degree of
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power
generate by fuel
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source
in
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austrlia
and
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france
in the
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different
two years. (1980and2000). The data
is measured
in
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units
. At the fleeting glance, the
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austrlia
produced 100
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units
of
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electricity
in 2000. The main
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source
in
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production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in
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australia
was coal in both years. As in 1980 that was half
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units
and in 2000 that was 130
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units
.
Moreover
, the hydro
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power
generate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in 1980 and 2000 that was 20
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units
and 36
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units
.
Furthermore
, the less popular
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source
in the
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production
of
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power
was natural gas. Taking
further
data into consideration, the
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france
generate 90
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units
of
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electricity
in 1980 and 18
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units
of
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electricity
in 2000. The
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france
contributed 15
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units
of
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neclear
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power
in the formation of
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electricity
in 1980.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, in 2000 126
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units
was contributed
. Along with this, there was
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
equal
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use
of coal in both the years for the generation of
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power
which was 25
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units
.
Moreover
, in 1980 the
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france
devoted about 20
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units
in the
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production
of
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power
and in the
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year
2000 that was 25
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units
of oil. Along with this,
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france
contributed the hydro
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power
and natural in 1980 which was 5
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units
and 25
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units
respectively
.
Overall
, there were various
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uses
of fuel in the
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production
of
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electricity
.
Therefore
, the maximum
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source
that was
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used
in the formation of
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electricity
in
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australia
was coal in both the years.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, in
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france
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of coal were constant in both years.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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