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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2001 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2001 and 2013. Wp0b
The given pie charts above show us the sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 with 4 different categories that are Travel, Film/Music, Books and Clothes. the maximum online shopping sales in 2003 was done in the travel sector with 36% however after 10 years the sales shifted more towards film/music sector with 33% as the highest. The growth with the largest margin within 10 years happened in movies/music sector with a jump of 12% whereas online shopping in sales depreciated from 24% to 16%. Books and Clothes were the only retail sectors to have grown over the years with 3% and 12% respectively although the other two sectors dropped by 6% and 8%. The online private sales for books increased by 3% whereas the increase of percentage in film and music was more by 9% The pie charts definitely shows us that over a span of 10 years through 2003 and 2013 people started spending more on books and clothes where most of their spending was done in travel and film.
The
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given
pie charts above
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show
us the
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sales
for retail
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sectors
in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 with 4
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different
categories that are Travel, Film/Music,
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Books
and Clothes.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
maximum online shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in 2003
was done
in the travel
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sector
with 36%
however
after 10 years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
shifted more towards film/music
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sector
with 33% as the highest.

The growth with the largest margin within 10 years happened in movies/music
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sector
with a jump of 12% whereas online shopping in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
depreciated from 24% to 16%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
and Clothes were the
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only
retail
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sectors
to have grown over the years with 3% and 12%
respectively
although the other two
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sectors
dropped by 6% and 8%.

The online private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
increased by 3% whereas the increase of percentage in film and music was more by 9%

The pie charts definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us that over a span of 10 years through 2003 and 2013
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
spending more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and clothes where most of their spending
was done
in travel and film.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2001 and 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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