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The pie charts below show the main reasons why students chose to study at a particular UK University in 1897 and 2007

The pie charts below show the main reasons why students chose to study at a particular UK University in 1897 and 2007 6xnQj
The given both pie charts illustrate that five basic causes' proportion which chosen by students to study in the UK university. Initially this data was recorded in 1987 and then again analyzed in 2007. Overall, in both charts the amount of the reason of courses at the appropriate level is the highest than other causes Moving to more detailed analysis, in 1987 level of the reason for the closeness to the parents is 10% while is 22% in 2007. Afterwards, the next reason is quality of teaching, and its degree was higher in 1987 than 2007 that was 15% and 8%. There was high destabilization in cause of good sports and social activities between 1987 and 2007. The percentage of that reason is 19% in first chart, but in second chart it is decreased to 6%. Notwithstanding, quality of resource's degree is higher in 1987 than 2007. In 1987 it is equal with 21% while in 2007 it is 4% less than 1987. Turning to the highest proportion of the reason is that suitable courses. Grade of this reason is not much different in both years. To contrast that is 35% in 1987 and in 2007thi index is 2% higher than before
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
both pie
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charts
illustrate that five basic causes' proportion which chosen by students to study in the UK university.
Initially
this data
was recorded
in 1987 and then again analyzed in 2007.
Overall
, in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
the amount of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of courses at the appropriate level is the
Use "higher" to make a comparison with this adjective.
highest
than other causes Moving to more detailed analysis, in 1987 level of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for the closeness to the parents is 10% while is 22% in 2007. Afterwards, the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is quality of teaching, and its degree was higher in 1987 than 2007 that was 15% and 8%. There was high destabilization in cause of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sports and social activities between 1987 and 2007. The percentage of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is 19% in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
it
is decreased
to 6%. Notwithstanding, quality of resource's degree is higher in 1987 than 2007. In
The comma is probably missing here: "1987, it".
1987 it
is equal with 21% while in 2007 it is 4% less than 1987. Turning to the highest proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that suitable courses. Grade of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is not much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in both years. To contrast
that is
35% in 1987 and in 2007thi index is 2% higher than
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
before
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the main reasons why students chose to study at a particular UK University in 1897 and 2007

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
201 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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