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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

The two graphs illustrate the young population from 18 to 25 who used to watch television in Canada and how other devices of entertainment are divided. Overall there are fewer people watching traditional television in 2019 than in 2009, it decreases from 34% to 4%. The device with the greatest gains was smart televsion it went from 8% to 27%. There fewer people using the traditional computer in a desk and laptops, it decreased from 18% to 12% the former and from 20% to 12% in 2019. The data shows that the larger tendency at this age is the use of pocket devices. In general, there is an increase of usage in smartphones and tablets the former went from 15% to 26% the latter with almost 4 times usage went from 5% to 19% being the most stepped trend alongside the smart television.
The two graphs illustrate the young population from 18 to 25 who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television in Canada and how other devices of entertainment
are divided
.

Overall
there are fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
watching traditional television in 2019 than in 2009, it decreases from 34% to 4%. The device with the greatest gains was smart
Possible spelling mistake found.
televsion
it went from 8% to 27%.

There fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using the traditional computer in a desk and laptops, it decreased from 18% to 12% the former and from 20% to 12% in 2019. The data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the larger tendency at this age is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of pocket devices.
In general
, there is an increase of usage in smartphones and tablets the former went from 15% to 26% the latter with almost 4 times usage went from 5% to 19% being the most stepped trend alongside the smart television.

IELTS academic The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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