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The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of france in two years.

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of france in two years. emNA
The pie charts give the information about different kinds of energy production(Coal, Gas, Petro, Nuclear and Other) of france in the year 1995 and 2005 Overall, Coal was the largest segment of the economy, while other source contributed the least of the economy throughout the period. Firstly, it can be clearly seen that, coal was the most significant part of the economy in the year 1995 around 30% of energy source, it was slowly increase in the year 2005 with 30. 93% of energy. In term of gas, which was accounting for 29. 63% of energy increased to mere 30. 31% in 2005. In addition, nuclear energy made up less than one in ten in the year 1995 whereas nuclear slightly grow by more than one in ten in the year 2005. However, petro had slightly more which was around a third than that in 1995 which was merely 19. 55% of energy in the year 2005. Moreover, other source made up 4. 90% in the year 1995, it has moderately increase in the year 2005 about 9. 10%.
The pie charts give the information about
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different
kinds of
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energy
production(Coal, Gas,
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Petro
, Nuclear and Other) of
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france
in the
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year
1995 and 2005
Overall
, Coal was the largest segment of the economy, while other source contributed the least of the economy throughout the period.
Firstly
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, coal was the most significant part of the economy in the
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year
1995 around 30% of
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energy
source, it was
slowly
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 with 30. 93% of
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energy
. In term of gas, which was accounting for 29. 63% of
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energy
increased to mere 30. 31% in 2005.
In addition
, nuclear
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energy
made up less than one in ten in the
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year
1995 whereas nuclear
slightly
grow by more than one in ten in the
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year
2005.
However
,
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petro
had
slightly
more which was around a third than that in 1995 which was
merely
19. 55% of
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energy
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005.
Moreover
, other source made up 4. 90% in the
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year
1995, it has
moderately
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "increased".
increase
in the
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year
2005 about 9. 10%.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of france in two years.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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