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The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.

The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. rP7o
The given pie charts compare the women’s top education level in two different years, 1945 and 1995, in Someland. As is presented in the given illustration, Someland’s women did a remarkable progress in education in 1995 than that of 1945. According to the given illustration, the highest level of education among women in Someland has a far worse situation than that of 1995. In 1945, 35% women in Someland had no schooling while 35% had only upto third grade education. 15% of those women went to school and completed 6 year education while 10% finished schools up to 9 years. 12 year education was completed only by 4% women in this year while only 1% completed first degree. No women in this year in Someland finished their post graduation. On the other hand, the highest education level among women in Someland improved significantly with 50% first degree holders and 20% post graduates and 20% 12 years degree holders. The percentage of Someland’s women who did not complete school education reduced dramatically in this year and this is a sure sign of improved women education in Someland.
The
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given
pie charts compare the
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women’s
top
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education
level in two
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different
years, 1945 and 1995, in
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Someland
. As
is presented
in the
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given
illustration,
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Someland
’s
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women
did
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "remarkable progress".
a remarkable progress
in
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education
in 1995 than that of 1945.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration, the highest level of
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education
among
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women
in
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Someland
has a far worse situation than that of 1995. In 1945, 35%
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women
in
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Someland
had no schooling while 35% had
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only
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upto
third grade
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education
. 15% of those
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women
went to school and completed 6
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year
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education
while 10% finished schools up to 9 years. 12
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year
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education
was completed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by 4%
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women
in this
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year
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% completed
first
degree. No
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women
in this
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year
in
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Someland
finished their post graduation.

On the other hand
, the highest
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education
level among
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women
in
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Someland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
with 50%
first
degree holders and 20% post graduates and 20% 12 years degree holders. The percentage of
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Someland
’s
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women
who did not complete school
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education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
dramatically
in this
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year
and this is a sure
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sign
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
.

IELTS academic The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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