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The chart below shows figure for attendance at hospital emergency care department in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017.

The chart below shows figure for attendance at hospital emergency care department in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017. A7Re
The image illustrate the data for being present at the hospital emergency care division in Northern Ireland by age-range in December 2016 and a year later. It can be seen that there are a significant changes however the highest is the aged 75 and over and lowest is aged 6 to 15. First, there are two highest which is the aged 75 and over the date said it is 65 and under 5 which is 55 attendance. The lowest is aged 5 to 15 which its data said it is 22. It can bee seen that it has the lowest and highest of all the age group. On the other hand, a year after it can be seen the slight difference the highest is still the age 75 and over but it got higher up to 70 while the second highest is still the under 5 which got 57. The lowest one is still the same as last year but got higher it is 24.
The image
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the data for being present at the hospital emergency care division in Northern Ireland by age-range in December 2016 and a year later. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are a significant
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "change"?
changes
however
the highest is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
75 and over and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
6 to 15.

First
, there are two highest which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
75 and over the date said it is 65 and under 5 which is 55 attendance. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
5 to 15 which its data said it is 22. It
The word 'bee' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can bee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that it has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
and highest of all the age group.

On the other hand
, a year after it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the slight difference the highest is
still
the age 75 and over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
higher up to 70 while the second highest is
still
the under 5 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
57. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
one is
still
the same as last year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
higher it is 24.

IELTS academic The chart below shows figure for attendance at hospital emergency care department in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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