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The pie chart shows the online sales for retail sectors in Canada in the year 2005 & 2010.

Overall, the proportion of online sales for each of the four sectors changed significantly from 2005 to 2010. While the figures for food and beverages and also video games increased, the figures for the other two sectors fell. In 2005, the proportion of online sales of food and beverages was 22%, but this rose to 32% in 2010. The percentage for internet sales of video games also went up, by 5% from the 2005 figure of 18%. In contrast, the percentages of the online sales of the other sectors decreased. The most dramatic fall was in the home furnishings retail sector. While this figure was 25% of the total online sales of these four sectors in 2005, it fell to just 15% in 2010. There was also a decrease in the electronics and appliances sector, which saw a fall from 35% in 2005 to 30% in 2010.
Overall
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for each of the four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
from 2005 to 2010. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for food and beverages and
also
video games increased, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for the other two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
fell. In 2005, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of food and beverages was 22%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this rose to 32% in 2010. The percentage for internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of video games
also
went up, by 5% from the 2005
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of 18%.

In contrast
, the percentages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
decreased. The most dramatic fall was in the home furnishings retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. While this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
was 25% of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of these four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in 2005, it fell to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
15% in 2010. There was
also
a decrease in the electronics and appliances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a fall from 35% in 2005 to 30% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The pie chart shows the online sales for retail sectors in Canada in the year 2005 & 2010.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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