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The pie chart shows the main reasons why agricultural becomes less productive and the table shows these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart shows the main reasons why agricultural becomes less productive and the table shows these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. 15Lyy
The pie chart shows the main reasons why agricultural becomes less productive and the table shows these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Firstly the pie chart shows the causes of worldwide land degradation. It shows, over-grazing is the biggest reason and it is 35%. Then the second reason is deforestation. It’s slightly smaller reason than the biggest one and it’s 30%. After that the third reason is over-cultivation which is 28%. The chart also tells us there are other reasons and they are only 7%. Secondly the table shows the causes of land degradation by region. The first reason is deforestation. In North America it is 0. 2% and 9. 8% in Europe when it’s 1. 7% in Oceania. The second reason is over-cultivation. It is 3. 3% in North America and 7. 7% in Europe when it is 0% in Ocaenia. The third reason is over-grazing. This reason happening in North America and it’s only 1. 5%. It’s 5. 5% in Europe and 11. 3% in Ocaenia. In the end of the table it shows total land degradation. 5% land degraded in North America, 23% in Europe and 13% in Ocaenia. To conclude, Europe is in more danger than other two countries because Europe facing these land degradation problems more than these two countries when Ocaenia is in the second position and North America is at last.
The pie chart
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shows
the main
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reasons
why agricultural becomes less productive and the table
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shows
these causes
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affected
three regions of the world during the 1990s.

Firstly
the pie chart
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shows
the causes of worldwide
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land
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degradation
. It
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shows
, over-grazing is the biggest
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reason
and it is 35%. Then the second
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reason
is deforestation. It’s
slightly
smaller
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reason
than the biggest one and it’s 30%.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the third
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reason
is over-cultivation which is 28%. The chart
also
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tells
us there are other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reasons and
they are
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only
7%.

Secondly
the table
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shows
the causes of
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land
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degradation
by region. The
first
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reason
is deforestation. In
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North
America it is 0. 2% and 9. 8% in Europe when it’s 1. 7% in Oceania. The second
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reason
is over-cultivation. It is 3. 3% in
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North
America and 7. 7% in Europe when it is 0% in
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Ocaenia
. The third
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reason
is over-grazing. This
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reason
happening in
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North
America and it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1. 5%. It’s 5. 5% in Europe and 11. 3% in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ocaenia
. In the
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end
of the table it
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shows
total
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land
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degradation
. 5%
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land
degraded in
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North
America, 23% in Europe and 13% in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ocaenia
.

To conclude
, Europe is in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
than other two countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Europe facing these
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land
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degradation
problems more than these two countries when
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ocaenia
is in the second position and
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North
America is at last.
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IELTS academic The pie chart shows the main reasons why agricultural becomes less productive and the table shows these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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