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the pie chart show the electricity generated in Germany and france from all sources and renewables in the year 2009.

the pie chart show the electricity generated in Germany and france from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. AdA1
The pie chart provides the information about the production of electricity in the countries Germany and France from nuclear, conventional thermal and renewables in the year 2009. Overall, It can be seen that the conventional thermal plays major role in Germany and Nuclear is producing more power in France nearly three quarters. However, Germany producing power per year was 560 billion kwh and 510 kWh was produced by France in the year 2009. To begin with all types of power production in Germany. In non-renewables maximum capacity of current production is conventional thermal 59. 6%, remaining 30. 4% is generated by nuclear(23. 0%) and renewables (17. 4%). Meanwhile, In France's non-renewable electricity generations by nuclear is higher than others (76. 0%). It produced three quarters of current and in France, conventional thermal plays minimual role(10. 3%). Moreover, We can see a lot of difference between the renewables of two countries. In Germany, Biomass(39. 3%)and wind(36. 9%) moreorless in same proportion. Power produced by solar(6. 1%)is very low. As well as, In France hydroelectric producing current is exceeding three quarters(80. 5%) and remaining (19. 5) total is calculated by wind(10. 5%), biomass(8. 1%) and solar(0. 9%). Interestingly, There is no electricity was produced by geothermal resource in both German and France.
The pie chart provides the information about the production of electricity in the countries Germany and France from nuclear,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conventional
thermal and renewables in the year 2009.
Overall
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conventional
thermal plays major role in Germany and Nuclear is producing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in France
nearly
three quarters.
However
, Germany producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
per year was 560 billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
and 510 kWh was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by France in the year 2009. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
production in Germany. In non-renewables maximum capacity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
production is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conventional
thermal 59. 6%, remaining 30. 4%
is generated
by nuclear(23. 0%) and renewables (17. 4%). Meanwhile, In France's non-renewable electricity generations by nuclear is higher than others (76. 0%). It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
three quarters of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and in France,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conventional
thermal plays
Possible spelling mistake found.
minimual
role(10. 3%).
Moreover
, We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difference between the renewables of two countries. In Germany, Biomass(39. 3%)and wind(36. 9%)
Possible spelling mistake found.
moreorless
in same proportion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by solar(6. 1%)is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
As well
as, In France hydroelectric producing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
is exceeding three quarters(80. 5%) and remaining (19. 5) total
is calculated
by wind(10. 5%), biomass(8. 1%) and solar(0. 9%).
Interestingly
, There is no electricity was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by geothermal resource in both German and France.
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IELTS academic the pie chart show the electricity generated in Germany and france from all sources and renewables in the year 2009.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
210 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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