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The pie chart show the average expenditures

The pie chart show the average expenditures kgrnM
The pie charts compare and contrast data on the differences in the percentages of household expenditures in six categories in 1950 and 2010. Overall, the highest expenditure in 1950 was on housing while in 2010 it decreased for over half following the most prioritized food category. Moreover, health care received the lowest proportion of expenditures in both years whereas in other types of household units there was a dramatic change. The spending on housing comprised of 72. 1% in the first year and this showed a plummeting trend of about a half to 22% in 2010. Likewise, in 1950, the expenditure on food was 11. 2% which surged to 34% 60 years later. With regards to the remaining household units, despite the slight increase, there was the lowest percentage of expenditure on health care in the period given (2. 4% in 1950 and 4. 5% in 2010 respectively). Furthermore, transportation and other both experienced a rise from 3. 3% and 4. 4% in the year before to 14% and 19. 2% respectively in 2010 whereas education remained the most stable category with a marginally decrease from 6. 6% of about a mere 0. 3% to 6. 3% in the second year.
The pie charts compare and contrast data on the differences in the percentages of household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
in six categories in 1950 and 2010.

Overall
, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
in 1950 was on housing while in 2010 it decreased for over half following the most prioritized food category.
Moreover
, health care received the lowest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
in both years whereas in other types of household units there was a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

The spending on housing comprised of 72. 1% in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a plummeting trend of about a half to 22% in 2010.
Likewise
, in 1950, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
on food was 11. 2% which surged to 34% 60 years later.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the remaining household units, despite the slight increase, there was the lowest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
on health care in the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
(2. 4% in 1950 and 4. 5% in 2010
respectively
).
Furthermore
, transportation and other both experienced a rise from 3. 3% and 4. 4% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to 14% and 19. 2%
respectively
in 2010 whereas education remained the most stable category with a
You used an adverb ('marginally') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('decrease') instead of another adjective.
marginally decrease
from 6. 6% of about a mere 0. 3% to 6. 3% in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.

IELTS academic The pie chart show the average expenditures

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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