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The graph shows birth rate in China and USA between 1920 and 2000.

The graph shows birth rate in China and USA between 1920 and 2000. 7L9aA
A glance at the graph provided reveals some striking similarities between the Chinese and US birth rates during the period from 1920 to 2000. It is evident that both nations saw considerable fluctuations in fertility, with lows during the 1940s and highs during the 1950s. Increasing from approximately 10 percent in 1920 to 15 percent in 1935, China's birth rate then plunged to a low of just 5 percent in the 1940s. This was followed by a period of exponential growth, with fertility in the country reaching a peak of 20 percent in 1950. The latter half of the century, however, brought a decline in this figure. The US birth rate, meanwhile, fluctuated at somewhere between 11 and 13 percent prior to 1940, before dropping sharply to less than 5 percent in 1945. The following 5 years saw a rapid climb in this rate, to somewhere in the vicinity of 15 percent in 1950, followed by a steady fall. It is interesting to note that while the birth rates of both countries were comparable until 1950, the gap between the two widened after this time as fertility in China slid away.
A glance at the graph provided reveals
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some
striking similarities between the Chinese and US
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birth
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rates
during the period from 1920 to 2000. It is evident that both nations
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saw
considerable fluctuations in fertility, with lows during the 1940s and highs during the 1950s.

Increasing from approximately 10
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percent
in 1920 to 15
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percent
in 1935, China's
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birth
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rate
then plunged to a low of
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just
5
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percent
in the 1940s. This
was followed
by a period of exponential growth, with fertility in the country reaching a peak of 20
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percent
in 1950. The latter half of the century,
however
, brought a decline in this figure.

The US
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birth
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rate
, meanwhile, fluctuated at somewhere between 11 and 13
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percent
prior to 1940,
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before
dropping
sharply
to less than 5
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percent
in 1945.
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The
following 5 years
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saw
a rapid climb in this
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rate
, to somewhere in the vicinity of 15
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percent
in 1950, followed by a steady fall.

It is interesting to note that while the
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of both countries were comparable until 1950, the gap between the two widened after this time as fertility in China slid away.
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IELTS academic The graph shows birth rate in China and USA between 1920 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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