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The line graphs show the enrolments

The line graphs show the enrolments 2aA2w
The line graphs compare and contrast data on the changes in the number of enrolments of local and international students in Australian universities over a 10-year period from 2001 to 2010. Overall, a constant growth can be seen for international students enrollment both in total and commencing categories for the period given, while the trend for local applicants contrasted with a slight decrease in commencing in the final years whereas total enrolments created a significant difference in numbers between overseas and local students from 2006 to 2010. With regards to the number of enrolments of international applicants in total it began with 20000 in 2001 and demonstrated such a rise with peaking at just over 80000 in 2010 as opposed to locals with reaching a high at 600000 in 2007 before remaining constant in the 4 final years. On the other hand, the number in the commencing category for overseas students experienced a steady increase from 2001 to 2008 (from approximately 10000 to more than 40000 respectively) which was much lower than the number of nearly 200000 local students in the first year after which the trend fluctuated around the same number with a slight drop between 2003 and 2007.
The line graphs compare and contrast data on the
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changes
in the
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number
of
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enrolments
of
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local
and international
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students
in Australian universities over a 10-year period from 2001 to 2010.

Overall
, a constant growth can be
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seen
for international
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
enrollment both in total and commencing categories for the period
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given
, while the trend for
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local
applicants contrasted with a slight decrease
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in commencing in
the final years whereas total
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
created a significant difference in
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numbers
between overseas and
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local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from 2006 to 2010.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of international applicants in total it began with 20000 in 2001 and demonstrated such a rise with peaking at
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just
over 80000 in 2010 as opposed to
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locals
with reaching a high at 600000 in 2007
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before
remaining constant in the 4 final years.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in the commencing category for overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
experienced a steady increase from 2001 to 2008 (from approximately 10000 to more than 40000
respectively
) which was much lower than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
nearly
200000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
first
year after which the trend fluctuated around the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
with a slight drop between 2003 and 2007.
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IELTS academic The line graphs show the enrolments

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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