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The pie chart gives information about the iperiod of US grownups tented to purchase on the internet in 2015 .The bar graph provides with the percentages of e-commerce choices of that adults whether to get online or on supermarkets.

The pie chart gives information about the iperiod of US grownups tented to purchase on the internet in 2015. The bar graph provides with the percentages of e-commerce choices of that adults whether to get online or on supermarkets. AwXee
The given pie chart compares the interval of US grownups tented to purchase on the internet in 2015. The bar graph provides with the percentages of e-commerce choices of that adults whether to get online or on supermarkets. In General, most of consumers buy products infrequently or occasionally in a month. Likewise, Many of them who shop in distinct periods, used to acquire their needs in retail outlets except weekly users. To begin with In 2015, , the US adults who shopped online irregularly consttuded of the large proportion of expenditure which was 37%. Nevertheless, it is crystal clear that one fifth of them hardly made virtual shopping. Futhermore, the least percentage of cybershopping observed with weekly customers accounting for 15 percent of all the expense. By the bar graph, we can spot the details that the rate of clients who bought online or in markets was approximately 35 % and 65 % respectively. In contraat, the percentages of weekly shoppers resembled to have changed to the reseved version of all of online purchasers. Customers who shop online per month registered just more than 40 %, futhermore adults utilizing physical outlets indicates almost 60 percent. Interestingly, less continual online shoppers reached the peak - just less than 20 % of a total.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart compares the interval of US grownups tented to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
on the internet in 2015. The bar graph provides with the percentages of e-commerce choices of that adults whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or on supermarkets.

In General
,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the consumers") or simply say "most consumers".
most of consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products
infrequently
or
occasionally
in a month.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
shop in distinct periods,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to acquire their needs in retail outlets except weekly users.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with In 2015,
Two consecutive commas
,
the US adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
shopped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
irregularly
Possible spelling mistake found.
consttuded
of the large proportion of expenditure which was 37%.
Nevertheless
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that one fifth of them hardly made virtual shopping.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, the least percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
cybershopping
observed with weekly customers accounting for 15 percent of all the expense.

By the bar graph, we can spot the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
that the rate of clients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or in markets was approximately 35 % and 65 %
respectively
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
contraat
, the percentages of weekly shoppers resembled to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
reseved
version of all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasers. Customers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
per month registered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
more than 40 %,
Possible spelling mistake found.
futhermore
adults utilizing physical outlets indicates almost 60 percent.
Interestingly
, less continual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shoppers reached the peak
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
less than 20 % of a total.
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IELTS academic The pie chart gives information about the iperiod of US grownups tented to purchase on the internet in 2015. The bar graph provides with the percentages of e-commerce choices of that adults whether to get online or on supermarkets.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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