Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The pie chart compare the figure of individuals employed in various sectors in town A and town B in two different years.

The pie chart compare the figure of individuals employed in various sectors in town A and town B in two different years. 0EQnl
The pie chart compare the figure of individuals employed in various sectors in town A and town B in two different years. It is clear that became a saler is a common choice of people in town A in 1960 but in 2010, the proportion of services was highest. While the percentage of manufacturing in town B always higher than other sectors from 1960 to 2010 In 1960, services in town A and town B didn't account for 30% but this figure rose to 64% and 25% respectively at the end of the period. The number of salers in town B began with 20% in 1960 and experienced a slight growth of 2% in 2010. Sales, which reached 30% of people 's occupations in town A in 1960, decreased by 14% after 50-year period. In 1960, manufacturinh sectors in town A and town B were at 41% and 70% respectively, and both declined to 20% and 53% in 2010.
The pie chart compare the figure of individuals employed in various sectors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
B in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that became a
Possible spelling mistake found.
saler
is a common choice of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A in 1960
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2010, the proportion of services was highest.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the percentage of manufacturing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
B always higher than other sectors from 1960 to 2010

In 1960, services in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
B didn't account for 30%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this figure rose to 64% and 25%
respectively
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. The number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
salers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
B began with 20% in 1960 and experienced a slight growth of 2% in 2010.

Sales, which reached 30% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's occupations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A in 1960, decreased by 14% after 50-year period. In 1960,
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufacturinh
sectors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
B were at 41% and 70%
respectively
, and both declined to 20% and 53% in 2010.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The pie chart compare the figure of individuals employed in various sectors in town A and town B in two different years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Some people say that manager should get higher salary as compare to the other workers.
    In this current era, few citizens believe that manager should give more salary instead of other employees. I partially argree with above mentioned statement and will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs with a decorous conclusion. Commencing with, there are numerous reasons in the favour of topic. The...
  • 6.5band
    Owned and rented percentage of households in England and Wales between the year of 1918 and 2011
    Between the year of 1918 and 2011, the percentage of households, which were owned and rented in England and Wales is illustrated in the chart. Overall, there is an increase of percentages (from over 20 percent to about 70 percent) of households those were owned over the years. In 2001, owned accomm...
  • 5.5band
    The table compares the figures for international traveller
    The table compares the figures for international travellers in different regions in the years 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. It is clear that the total number of people who went abroad increased during the period of the time. In addition, Europe had the highest number of foreign tourists among the five ...
  • 5.5band
    Studying the historical evidence via technology
    First of all, the inspiration for this paper is from one of the subjects in our classroom that we called “Module” in Grade 10. We had traveled to many temples in Chiang Mai to explain how the Lanna people in the past built their center community such as temples. A large number of religious places ar...
  • 5band
    The picture illustrates the wheel of life in which a Monarch butterfly.
    The picture illustrates the wheel of life in which a Monarch butterfly. In general, the cycle has different stages starting from an egg, leading to the development of a fully-grown adult Monarch butterfly. An egg is placed on a milkwood leaf in the first stage of this life cycle. The egg hatch int...
  • 5band
    Write paragraphs about Causes of smoking
    There are a few major causes of smoking. Firstly, the pressures in life make them stressed, so they want to find something to reduce their worries. The reason why some people suddenly turn to cigarettes. Because they feel more relaxed and more alert in their decisions when smoking. Besides, smoking ...





Get more results for topic:
  • The pie chart compare the figure of individuals employed in various sectors in town A and town B in two different years.