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The pie chart below Shows the using of different kinds of goods in Oman In 2000 to 2005.

The pie chart below Shows the using of different kinds of goods in Oman In 2000 to 2005. m9Ykr
The two pie charts illustrate the proportion using a varuty types of goods (books, Telephone, pens, computers, and others) in Oman In 2000 and 2005. Overall, in both years, the most significant goods were books and computers, which together accounted for over the half of productions. While, Telephones, pens and other kinds of goods generated the least amount of productions. Likewise, in both years, there was a minimal change in the precentage over the five years period. Looking in more details, the terms computer comprised of 45% in 2005, which Showed only a very slight decrease of about a mere 1% to 44% in the first year, similarly in the using of books, which rose marginally in the second year to about 30%. Furthermore, there was a sharply rose on the using of books in 200 to approximately 10%, compared with second year which reached about 25%. With regard to the remaining method, there was no change in the ratio in the telephone in both years, it amost equale (24%).
The two pie charts illustrate the proportion using a
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varuty
types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(books
, Telephone, pens, computers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
) in Oman In 2000 and 2005.

Overall
, in both years, the most significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and computers, which together accounted for over the half of productions. While, Telephones, pens and other kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
generated the least amount of productions.
Likewise
, in both years, there was a minimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
precentage
over the five years period.

Looking in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "terms'" or "term's"?
terms
computer comprised of 45% in 2005, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Showed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slight decrease of about a mere 1% to 44% in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
similarly
in the using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, which rose
marginally
in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to about 30%.
Furthermore
, there was a
You used an adverb ('sharply') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('rose') instead of another adjective.
sharply rose
on the using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in 200 to approximately 10%, compared with second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which reached about 25%.

With regard to the remaining method, there was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the ratio in the telephone in both years, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
amost
Possible spelling mistake found.
equale
(24%).
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IELTS academic The pie chart below Shows the using of different kinds of goods in Oman In 2000 to 2005.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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