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Introduce about my hobbies

Introduce about my hobbies m9YGO
1. Do you have any hobbies? Of course there are and there are many more. It can be said that we all have at least one hobby, not just me. One of my favorite recreational pursuits is singing and participating in extracurricular activities. And recently, I am also applying to join MCCM - 1 of the big four big music clubs in my school. If I pass, I can do both at the same time. I'm looking forward to that as well. 2. What hobbies are popular in your country? My country has a lot of interesting leisure activities but most people will feel that listening to music or traveling is the best way to relax. Besides music applications such as ZingMP3, nhaccuatui, . . . , there are some people who like to visit tea shops or sit on the roadside to enjoy the melodious live vocals. In particular, nowadays tourism is the entertainment hobby of most people. By traveling to scenic places, we will have the opportunity to explore and open our eyes. 3. Is it important to have a hobby? In my opinion, the growing development of the country means that we are under pressure with busy, jostled lives. Therefore, having a hobby is extremely important and necessary. . It is a good way for us to temporarily escape from reality and help relax and unwind after a tiring time. And sometimes, maybe those hobbies will help you build many good social relationships, expand your understanding. 4. Is it harmful to spend too much time on a hobby? This is what everyone is wondering. If we know how to allocate time properly and know how to moderate in unproductive hobbies, it will be beneficial for our mental health. Otherwise, we will lose control and lose balance in life. It directly affects our health, personality as well as our future, so early on, for bad hobbies, get rid of them. leave them. 5. What sort of hobbies would you like to try in the future? Since I love to experience the unique flavors of food, I will try to start learning how to cook. Actually, I also had the opportunity to try making dishes such as cakes, pasta, etc. , but I barely understood the everyday family dishes. Therefore, I will try to practice cooking so that I can show off my talents to my relatives and friends and in the future become the brave bride of every dream family.
1. Do you have any hobbies?

Of course
there are and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. It can
be said
that we all have at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
me. One of my favorite recreational pursuits is singing and participating in extracurricular activities. And recently, I am
also
applying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Possible spelling mistake found.
MCCM
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
1 of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
music clubs in my school. If I pass, I can do both at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I'm looking forward to that
as well
.

2. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are popular in your country?

My country has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interesting leisure activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will feel that listening to music or traveling is the best way to relax.
Besides
music applications such as ZingMP3,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nhaccuatui
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who like to visit tea shops or sit on the roadside to enjoy the melodious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
vocals.
In particular
, nowadays tourism is the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
of most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. By traveling to scenic places, we will have the opportunity to explore and open our eyes.

3. Is it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a hobby?

In my opinion, the growing development of the country means that we are under pressure with busy, jostled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and necessary.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for us to
temporarily
escape from reality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
relax and unwind after a tiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, maybe those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social relationships, expand your understanding.

4. Is it harmful to spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on a hobby?

This is what everyone is wondering. If we know how to allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
properly
and know how to moderate in unproductive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
, it will be beneficial for our mental health.
Otherwise
, we will lose control and lose balance in life. It
directly
affects our health, personality
as well
as our future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
early on, for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
leave
them.

5. What sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
would you like to try in the future?

Since I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to experience the unique flavors of food, I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning how to cook. Actually, I
also
had the opportunity to try making dishes such as cakes, pasta, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
barely
understood the everyday family dishes.
Therefore
, I will try to practice cooking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off my talents to my relatives and friends and in the future become the brave bride of every dream family.
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IELTS academic Introduce about my hobbies

Academic
  American English
10 paragraphs
412 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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