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The pictures illustrate information about the proportion used household in the US in 1970 and 2004.

The pictures illustrate information about the proportion used household in the US in 1970 and 2004. Kw023
The pictures illustrate information about the proportion used household in the US in 1970 and 2004. Overall, it can be seen that the largest used in 2004 was mortgage, while in 1970 mortgage had a small range with food. Firstly, we can see that in 1970 mortgage as popular household with 26% used and it is clear that in 2005 the highest expenditure used was mortgage also at 50%. It was different with average household in 1970 where there was a range 1 percent between first and food as second place, in 2004 there was a range 37% among entertainment in the second place and Mortgage. Finally, in the next stage there were food in 2004 and Clothing in 1970 where they witnessed 12% and 25%respectively. Secondly, it is clear that average household in 1970 between transport and entertainment had the same number at 13% and childcare in the last stage with 1%. Meanwhile, in 2004 clothing and childcare experienced 10 percent, while in the last level was transport at 5%.
The pictures illustrate information about the proportion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
in the US in 1970 and 2004.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the largest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in 2004 was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortgage
, while in 1970
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortgage
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
range with food.

Firstly
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in 1970
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortgage
as popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
with 26%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in 2005 the highest expenditure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortgage
also
at 50%. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
in 1970 where there was a range 1 percent between
first
and food as second place, in 2004 there was a range 37% among entertainment in the second place and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mortgage
.
Finally
, in the
next
stage there were food in 2004 and Clothing in 1970 where they witnessed 12% and 25%
respectively
.

Secondly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
in 1970 between transport and entertainment had the same number at 13% and childcare in the last stage with 1%. Meanwhile, in 2004 clothing and childcare experienced 10 percent, while in the last level was transport at 5%.

IELTS academic The pictures illustrate information about the proportion used household in the US in 1970 and 2004.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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