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the percentages of boys and girls who were successful in their high school

the percentages of boys and girls who were successful in their high school Kn5D1
The graph shows the percentages of boys and girls who were successful in their high school competency exams in the period from 2010 to 2011, by subject. Overall, students of both sexes performed best in Computer Science, Mathematics, and Foreign Languages, including French, German and Spanish. Results for boys and girls were roughly comparable in Computer Science and Mathematics. In other subjects, however, there were some significant differences. Girls achieved by far their best results in Computer Science, with a pass rate of 56. 3%, which was considerably around 14% higher than the boys. The difference was even greater marked in Chemistry, where over 16% more girls passed. The single subject where boys’ results were better than girls was Geography where they achieved a pass rate of 30. 4%, which was 10% higher than the percentage the result for girls. In general, we can say the statistics show that during the period in question girls performed better in most subjects in the competency exams than boys.
The graph
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shows
the percentages of
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boys
and
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girls
who were successful in their high school competency exams in the period from 2010 to 2011, by subject.

Overall
, students of both sexes performed
Use "good at" to mean "skilled" with school subjects. Try this: "best at Computer Science".
best in Computer Science
, Mathematics, and Foreign Languages, including French, German and Spanish.
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Results
for
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boys
and
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girls
were roughly comparable in Computer Science and Mathematics. In other subjects,
however
, there were
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some
significant differences.

Girls achieved by far their best
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results
in Computer Science, with a pass rate of 56. 3%, which was
considerably
around 14% higher than the
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boys
. The difference was even greater marked in Chemistry, where over 16% more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
passed. The single subject where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
were better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
was Geography where they achieved a pass rate of 30. 4%, which was 10% higher than the percentage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
for girls.

In general
, we can say the statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that during the period in question
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
performed better in most subjects in the competency exams than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
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IELTS academic the percentages of boys and girls who were successful in their high school

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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