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Task 1 - smoking rate of men and women in someland .

Task 1 - smoking rate of men and women in someland. x25Ma
The given line graph demonstrates the information about the smoking rate of men and women in someland during the year 1960 to 2000. From an overall perspective, it can be clearly seen that the higher number of men were doing smoking in the given year period. In details, in 2000, smoking rate of women was precisely 200, whereas for the men, rate was just over 200. To the next point, the highest number of men were smoking in 1960, and the rate was exactly 600 men per 1000 people, whilst in the same year, smoking rate of women was lower than men smoking rate and it was only 100. Moreover, smoking rate of men decreased from 600 to approximately 250 throughout the period. Moving further, smoking rate of women was almost stable between the year 1975 and 1980, and then it declined from 300 to around 200 in the next four years. In short, it is crystal clear that women smoked less as compared to men in someland.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph demonstrates the information about the
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smoking
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rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
someland
during the
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year
1960 to 2000. From an
overall
perspective, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the higher number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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year
period. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in 2000,
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smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was
precisely
200, whereas for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 200. To the
next
point, the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in 1960, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was exactly 600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, whilst in the same
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year
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was lower than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
100.
Moreover
,
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smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
decreased from 600 to approximately 250 throughout the period. Moving
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was almost stable between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1975 and 1980, and then it declined from 300 to around 200 in the
next
four years. In short, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
smoked less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
someland
.
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IELTS academic Task 1 - smoking rate of men and women in someland.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
168 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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