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The percentage of water use in 1997 and 2007

The percentage of water use in 1997 and 2007 1owA7
The pie chart below demonstrates the proportion of water used for different purposes during the years 1997 and 2007. Overall, water had been used for the same works in 1997 and 2007 but there are many changes to the place of the factors. In the farthest time 1997, water used the most for the food industry which made up 48% of the chart. In 2007, the percentage of water used for the food industry slightly decreased 7% but still was the first place. The segment of households, service industry and manufacturing were in the middle group with 13% to 19% in 1997. 10 years later, manufacturing rose rapidly, filled a quarter of the chart and became the second place, surpassed the households and service industry. The sectors of households and service industry did not change much, remained stable from 11% to 21%. Covers the smallest fraction of 5% in 1997, the building industry even fell to 2% in 2007. So that, water had been used the less for the building industry for 10 years.
The pie chart below demonstrates the proportion of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
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different
purposes during the years 1997 and 2007.
Overall
,
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water
had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the same works in 1997 and 2007
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the place of the factors.

In the farthest time 1997,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the most for the food
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industry
which made up 48% of the chart. In 2007, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the food
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industry
slightly
decreased 7%
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but
still
was the
first
place.

The segment of households, service
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industry
and manufacturing were in the middle group with 13% to 19% in 1997. 10 years later, manufacturing rose
rapidly
,
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filled a quarter of
the chart and became the second place, surpassed the households and service
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industry
. The sectors of households and service
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industry
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
much, remained stable from 11% to 21%.

Covers the smallest fraction of 5% in 1997, the building
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industry
even fell to 2% in 2007.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the less for the building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
for 10 years.
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IELTS academic The percentage of water use in 1997 and 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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