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The chart below shows the proportions of one country's main energy supplies derived from different sources in 2006

The chart below shows the proportions of one country's main energy supplies derived from different sources in 2006 7Llpn
The pie chart indicates the percentage of various sources of energy supplying during 2006 in Burnland. It is clearly evident that oil was significantly the main resource of energy, accounting for 36. 8%, meanwhile, modern renewables could not get a reasonable place and it took up the lowest proportion of source, by 2. 1%. After oil, natural gas was the second popular source of energy in Burland by 23. 2%. Coal followed it by accounting for 21. 6% of the total. In contrast, nuclear energy and traditional biomass were two main energy supplies that had less than 10% of the proportion. As the figures show the percentage of nuclear energy was 7. 9% whereas traditional biomass took out 8. 4% of the main energy sources for Burnland. Despite modern renewables had the least proportion of energy, it divided to five different kinds of resources. Hydroelectric was the main source by more than half of the total and geothermal was the next popular source in this category, around 0. 63%. Modern biomass, wind, and solar attracted less than 0. 30 % of energy supplies.
The pie chart indicates the percentage of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
supplying during 2006 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Burnland
.

It is
clearly
evident that oil was
significantly
the
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main
resource of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, accounting for 36. 8%, meanwhile, modern renewables could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a reasonable place and it took up the lowest proportion of
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source
, by 2. 1%.

After oil, natural gas was the second popular
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source
of
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energy
in
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Burland
by 23. 2%. Coal followed it by accounting for 21. 6% of the total.
In contrast
, nuclear
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energy
and traditional biomass were two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
supplies that had less than 10% of the proportion.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the percentage of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was 7. 9% whereas traditional biomass took out 8. 4% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
for
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Burnland
.

Despite modern renewables had the least proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, it divided to five
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different
kinds of resources. Hydroelectric was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
by more than half of the total and geothermal was the
next
popular
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source
in this category, around 0. 63%. Modern biomass, wind, and solar attracted less than 0. 30 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
supplies.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportions of one country's main energy supplies derived from different sources in 2006

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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