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the percentage of total expenditure spent on different commodities and services in a particular European nation in the years 1958 and 2008.

the percentage of total expenditure spent on different commodities and services in a particular European nation in the years 1958 and 2008. 2RO5b
The pie charts give information about the percentage of total expenditure spent on different commodities and services in a particular European nation in the years 1958 and 2008. Overall, the proportion of people’s spending on housing, travel/transport, and luxury goods saw an increase while that of money spent on food, clothing, and entertainment witnessed a downward trend. In addition, people spent the most money on food in 1958 while housing accounted for the highest percentage of the total spending in 2008. 32% of total expenditure was spent on food in 1958, after which this proportion fell dramatically to 12% in 2008. By contrast, the percentage of money spent on accommodation experienced a significant rise from 22% in 1958 to 32% in the last year. During the same period, the percentage of total spending which was spent on clothing was 8% and then dropped slightly by 2% after 50 years. Regarding other types of commodities and services, 13% of people’s total expenditure was spent on entertainment in the first year, followed by a marginal decline to 6% in the final year. In contrast, the figure for travel and transport rose significantly from 8% to 17% after 50 years. Similarly, the proportion of people’s total spending which was used for luxury goods was 7% in 1958, before more than doubling to 17% in the last year.
The pie charts give information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
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total
expenditure
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spent
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
commodities and services in a particular European nation in the years 1958 and 2008.

Overall
, the proportion of
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people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on housing, travel/transport, and luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an increase while that of money
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spent
on food, clothing, and entertainment witnessed a downward trend.
In addition
,
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the most money on food in 1958 while housing accounted for the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
in 2008.

32% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
expenditure was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on food in 1958, after which this proportion fell
dramatically
to 12% in 2008. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on accommodation experienced a significant rise from 22% in 1958 to 32% in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. During the same period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
which was
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spent
on clothing was 8% and then dropped
slightly
by 2% after 50 years.

Regarding other types of commodities and services, 13% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
expenditure was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on entertainment in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, followed by a marginal decline to 6% in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
In contrast
, the figure for travel and transport rose
significantly
from 8% to 17% after 50 years.
Similarly
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
was 7% in 1958,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
more than doubling to 17% in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic the percentage of total expenditure spent on different commodities and services in a particular European nation in the years 1958 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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