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The percentage of people going to cinemas in one European

The percentage of people going to cinemas in one European YgkyV
The bar chart in listed the information about the fault percentage who usually visit theatres in the various days in one Nation. Overall it is clearly seen from the bar graph maximum number of muscles listed on the weekend on Monday few people go for the cinema to watch movies. Turning details in 2003 only 10% people go for cinema button Tuesday and Wednesday people incline by around 17% respectively where as on Thursday and Friday crowd are high with 30% and 35% more over on Saturday people have rocketed with half packed with 40% on Sunday only 30% people like to visit movie theatre. To continue with in 2005 and 2007 almost equal percent of people was visiting to the cinema on beginning day of weeks 12% people went for watching movies next Tuesday it is increased by 17% and 18% similarly on wednesday it reduce by 8% of customer in 2007 and in Friday and Saturday public 4 by 35% 4% with natural people who visited theatre in yaar of 2005 for the more on Sunday mass plung with 32 and 34 percent on the year 2005 and 2007.
The bar chart in listed the information about the fault percentage who
usually
visit
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
in the various days in one Nation.

Overall
it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the bar graph maximum number of muscles listed on the weekend on Monday few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go for the cinema to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies.

Turning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in 2003
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go for cinema button Tuesday and Wednesday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
incline by around 17%
respectively
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
on Thursday and Friday crowd are high with 30% and 35% more over on Saturday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have rocketed with half packed with 40% on Sunday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to visit movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.

To continue with in 2005 and 2007 almost equal percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was visiting to the cinema on beginning day of weeks 12%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
went for watching movies
next
Tuesday it
is increased
by 17% and 18%
similarly
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
wednesday
it
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
by 8% of customer in 2007 and in Friday and Saturday public 4 by 35% 4% with natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who visited
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
yaar
of 2005 for the more on Sunday mass
Possible spelling mistake found.
plung
with 32 and 34 percent on the year 2005 and 2007.
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IELTS academic The percentage of people going to cinemas in one European

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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