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The percentage of adults by age group of different age groups in the UK who used internet everyday from 2003 to 2006

The percentage of adults by age group of different age groups in the UK who used internet everyday from 2003 to 2006 KPER
The graph describes the percentage of grown ups of various groups in UK between 2003 to 2006 daily statistics of internet used. The graph includes 5 different groups based on age. 65 years old persons are the least user of internet through those years whereas 16 to 24 years old persons are holding the top position. The internet user are decreasing when they are becoming older. In 2005, 100% of younger people 16 to 24 years old, used internet. On the other hand, the least percentage was 80% in 2003 and 2004. The middle aged group of 25-44 are increasing their internet use day by day. Moreover, the same thing also be mentioned for the 45 through 54 year aged people. The lowest percentage was aproximately only 15% in 2005 by the most oldest persons. The old peoples best was one fifth in 2006. The percentage was growing up quarter to half through 2003 to 2006 by the 55 to 64 year aged group.
The graph
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describes
the percentage of
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grown ups
of various
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groups
in UK

Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2003 and 2006".
between 2003 to 2006
daily statistics of internet
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used
. The graph includes 5

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different
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groups
based on age.

65 years
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old
persons are the least user of internet through those years

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whereas
16 to 24 years
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old
persons are holding the top position. The

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
internet
user are decreasing when they are becoming older.

In 2005, 100% of younger
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people
16 to 24 years
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old
,
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used
internet. On
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the


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other
hand, the least percentage was 80% in 2003 and 2004. The
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middle


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aged
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group
of 25-44 are increasing their internet
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use
day by day.
Moreover
, the same thing
also
be mentioned
for the 45 through 54
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year
aged
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people
.

The lowest percentage was
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aproximately
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only
15% in 2005 by the most

A determiner is probably missing here: "the oldest".
oldest
persons. The
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old
peoples best was one fifth in 2006. The
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
percentage


was growing up quarter to half through 2003 to 2006 by the 55 to 64 year

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aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS academic The percentage of adults by age group of different age groups in the UK who used internet everyday from 2003 to 2006

Academic
  American English
13 paragraphs
164 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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