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The percentage changes of cities’s population since 1970s with projection to 2030 are shown in the given graph.

The percentage changes of cities’s population since 1970s with projection to 2030 are shown in the given graph. 2lV2x
The percentage changes of cities’s population since 1970s with projection to 2030 are shown in the given graph. As can be seen, most citizen proportion of countries have an uptrend in general. Among which the US always has the highest proportion of people living in the cities, whereas the lowest overall belonged to the India’s one. In 1979, the US and Korea ranked 1st at 70 percent and 2nd at 40 percent respectively. The gap between the proportion of population in cities of USA and Korean are expected to narrows as people get older after a long graduallly growth untill they have the same proportion at 90 percnt by 2030. During 10 years since 1970, the percentage of China and India remained stable at 20 percent. India rose after that but minimally. In the other hand, China still no changed, followed by a leap from 1990, exceeding the proportion of India in the following years. According to current predictions, china and India will reach around 65 percent and 40 percent in that order by 2030.
The percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of
Did you mean "citie’s" or "cities’"?
cities’s
population since 1970s with projection to 2030
are shown
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, most citizen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of countries have an uptrend
in general
. Among which the US always has the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the cities, whereas the lowest
overall
belonged to the India’s one.

In 1979, the US and Korea ranked 1st at 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and 2nd at 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
. The gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of population in cities
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
and Korean are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "narrow".
narrows
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older after a long
Possible spelling mistake found.
graduallly
growth
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
they have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
at 90
Possible spelling mistake found.
percnt
by 2030.

During 10 years since 1970, the percentage of China and India remained stable at 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. India rose after that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
minimally
. In the other hand, China
still
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, followed by a leap from 1990, exceeding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of India in the following years. According to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
predictions, china and India will reach around 65
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in that order by 2030.
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IELTS academic The percentage changes of cities’s population since 1970s with projection to 2030 are shown in the given graph.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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