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The online sales of several electronic gadgets in first quarter of 2019 in ukrain.

The online sales of several electronic gadgets in first quarter of 2019 in ukrain. Mrpao
The given bar chart represent the data of online sales of smartphone, laptop and tablets in first four months of 2019 in ukrain. From the overall analysis of bar chart, it can be understood that sales of tablets and smartphones were increased for couple of month meanwhile sale of laptop were continuously reduced for first three months in 2019. Apparently, sales of laptops reached 50 millions in January of 2019 than in February and March sale was started decline. Sales of laptops came on closely 21 millions in March, then in April sales of laptops again grew up. Sales of tablets was 30 millions in January and suddenly sales of tablets was increased more than February and March, than in April sales of tablets dropped and came on nearly 30 millions. In the January sales of smartphone was started with approximately 18 to 19 millions then it started to went up until March. In the march sales of smartphone crossed 70 millions then in the April sales instantly went down and came on 40 millions.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart represent the data of online
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sales
of smartphone,
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laptop
and tablets in
first
four months of 2019 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ukrain
.

From the
overall
analysis of bar chart, it can
be understood
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of tablets and smartphones
were increased
for
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
month meanwhile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
were
continuously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
for
first
three months in 2019.

Apparently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
reached 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in
When specifying a month and year, 'of' is unnecessary: "January 2019".
January of 2019
than in February and March
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
decline.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
came on
closely
21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in March, then in April
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
again grew up.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sales
of tablets was 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in January and
suddenly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of tablets
was increased
more than February and March, than in April
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of tablets dropped and came on
nearly
30 millions.

In the January
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of smartphone was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with approximately 18 to 19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to went up until March. In the march
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of smartphone crossed 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
then in the April
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
instantly
went down and came on 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
.

IELTS academic The online sales of several electronic gadgets in first quarter of 2019 in ukrain.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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