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The number of zebras in Nboro Nature Reserve

The number of zebras in Nboro Nature Reserve kLR82
Overall trends: - The number of zebras in Nboro Nature Reserve fluctuated from 2005 to 2011. Similarly, the annual rainfall unexpectedly increased over a period of 6 years. The amount of rainfall appeared to affect the figure of zebras. When there was more rain, there were more zebras. - On the other hand, the number of s remarkably went up. Main features: - In the first year, 2005, the numbers of zebras (50 zebras), buffaloes (40 buffaloes) and the annual rainfall (620 millimeters) were at the lowest figures. - Ultimately, in 2011, the numbers of zebras (85 zebras), buffaloes (115 buffaloes) and the annual rainfall (1200 millimeters) were at their highest. - Generally, there was a remarkably difference between the amount of zebras and buffaloes. The number of zebras was commonly greater than the buffaloes, except in 2005. - From 2005 to 2011, the number of buffaloes increased annually till it reached the peak, which is under 120. - In contrast, the number of zebras rose to 75 in 2007 and went down to 70 animals in 2009. Zebras population then climbed again to reach about 85 in 2011. - During the same period, there were 620 millimeters of the rain in 2005. The amount went up to 1, 100 millimeters in 2007 and dropped to 700 millimeters in 2009. However, in 2011, it rained most during 6-year period, which reached 1, 200 millimeters of rain fell.
Overall
trends:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of zebras in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nboro
Nature Reserve fluctuated from 2005 to 2011.
Similarly
, the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
unexpectedly
increased over a period of 6 years. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
appeared to affect the figure of zebras. When there was more rain, there were more zebras.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of s
remarkably
went up. Main features:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
In the
first
year, 2005, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of zebras (50 zebras), buffaloes (40 buffaloes) and the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
(620 millimeters) were at the lowest figures.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Ultimately
, in 2011, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of zebras (85 zebras), buffaloes (115 buffaloes) and the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
(1200 millimeters) were at their highest.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Generally
, there was a
You used an adverb ('remarkably') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('difference') instead of another adjective.
remarkably difference
between the amount of zebras and buffaloes. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of zebras was
commonly
greater than the buffaloes, except in 2005.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
From 2005 to 2011, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of buffaloes increased
annually
till it reached the peak, which is under 120.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of zebras rose to 75 in 2007 and went down to 70 animals in 2009. Zebras population then climbed again to reach about 85 in 2011.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
During the same period, there were 620 millimeters of the rain in 2005. The amount went up to 1, 100 millimeters in 2007 and dropped to 700 millimeters in 2009.
However
, in 2011, it rained most during 6-year period, which reached 1, 200 millimeters of rain fell.
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IELTS academic The number of zebras in Nboro Nature Reserve

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
237 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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