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The chart given below gives the information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000.

The chart given below gives the information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000. 95K3r
The pie chart and bar chart provides information about the percentages of water utilized by three different sectors in various countries as well as worldwide in the year 2000. Overall, the highest amount of water was used in agriculture unit both by world as well as nationally. Also, the domestic usage of water was least worldwide but showed some fluctuations in few countries. Firstly, in the entire world, agricultural sector used maximum amount of water which accounts for 70% while in contrast a little amount of water was utilized by domestic sector in 2000. However, the industrial sector occupied the same amount of water which was used by china in 2000 and it was 22%. Moreover, in 2000 China used 1% less water in agriculture sector while 1% more in domestic sector as compared to the world's use of water. Secondly, among India, New Zealand and Canada, India outraced the use of water in 2000 which was 92% whilst only 8% was used by Canada. Also the domestic and industrial usage of water in India were least which were 5% and 3% respectively in 2000. Furthermore, domestic usage of water was highest in New Zealand in 2000 which wqs 46% while in Canada industrial water utilization was maximum and it was 80%.
The pie chart and bar chart provides information about the percentages of
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water
utilized by three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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sectors
in various countries
as well
as worldwide in the year 2000.
Overall
, the highest
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amount
of
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water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in agriculture unit both by world
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
nationally
.
Also
, the
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domestic
usage of
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water
was least worldwide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations in few countries.
Firstly
, in the entire world, agricultural
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sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which accounts for 70% while
in contrast
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was utilized
by
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domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
in 2000.
However
, the industrial
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sector
occupied the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by china in 2000 and it was 22%.
Moreover
, in 2000 China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
1% less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
while 1% more in
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domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
as compared to the world's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of water.

Secondly
, among India, New Zealand and Canada, India outraced the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in 2000 which was 92% whilst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8% was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by Canada.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the
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domestic
and industrial usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in India were least which were 5% and 3%
respectively
in 2000.
Furthermore
,
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domestic
usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was highest in New Zealand in 2000 which
Possible spelling mistake found.
wqs
46% while in Canada industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
utilization was maximum and it was 80%.
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IELTS academic The chart given below gives the information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
212 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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